I left my father's house, which was a place of refuge with an abundance of peace. This was a place where I didn't have a care in the world. I chose to leave and chase a dream that would never become my reality. Can you imagine flying all the way from Germany leaving all you have ever known to start a new life? It was scary but I was ready. I thought life was going to be a bed of roses, I soon realized that roses have thorns; and, life has it's high and low moments.
I would cry out to God why is this happening to me? I'm a good person why God why. In my frustration I began to shut down. I went to church; but, the one thing I found to be fun was no longer, it had now become a chore. I stayed depressed and I was angry with God. I merely existed... I still prayed, paid my tithes; and, served but I was numb. I soon realized God was looking at my heart not my actions. After my pity party was over I decided I needed God so much more than I had needed him before. I asked God to forgive me for being angry and distancing myself from his presence. I begin to chase God with a vengeance. I began to rebuild my prayer life and my worship unto Him. I fell in love with God again and one night while praying, the fog lifted and I realized I had left home too soon.
