• Choose to date someone that you are interested in because of who she is and how you believe she will treat you. You should genuinely be interested in her. Don't choose someone because of how good looking she is, how popular she is, or how much money she makes. Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Dating someone for the prestige she has or she can give you doesn't guard your heart or hers.

• Date other Christians. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says not to be yoked together with unbelievers. While you may think that dating is casual and won't necessarily lead to marriage, you never know. You may find out that the person you are dating is fabulous and fall in love but, if she is not a Christian, your relationship will be uneven spiritually.

• Keep your dates God honoring. Don't go on dates to places or events that you do not think God would want you to attend. This, of course, will be based on your understanding of what God says is okay to do. Some Christians don't see a problem with having drinks at a bar while others don't believe it is God honoring to drink alcohol at all. Some Christians don't have a problem with going to a secular rock concert while others think it is only right to listen to Christian music. To be God honoring, you need to honor your individual beliefs and not compromise them to impress a date.

• Keep yourself sexually pure. This is always a difficult one. What exactly does it mean to be sexually pure? Most Christians agree that God has designed sex to be something beautiful to be shared only by a husband and wife. But what about all the stuff that leads up to sex? Where do you draw the line?The Bible says to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Fleeing means to run from, not run towards and see how close you can get without actually touching the goal. To keep yourself sexually pure, many Christians believe that you should not begin engaging in physical activities that will lead you toward the temptation to have sex. For some that even includes kissing. If you know that an act of physical intimacy is going to lead you toward sexual activity, it is probably an act to flee.

• Respect your date's wishes. Your ideas of what is God honoring, what is an acceptable activity, or what is permitted physically may different from your date's. Do not try to talk your date into doing something she doesn't think it is right.

• Pray. Pray to God to help you meet the right person to date. Pray before you go on a date. Some Christians even choose to start off their date with a prayer together asking that God bless their time together and that they honor God with their actions. It is always good to be in conversation with God about the person you are dating and the dates that you go on.

Remove the veil so I can see what's missing. Remove the veil so I may see what God is calling me to. Remove the veil so I may see who I truly am. Who's underneath the veil?

I have come to the realization that we are called to be mature sons and daughters of the living God. Thinking and believing it are two different things. Becoming mature and knowing who you are is a process in itself. I want to share my process with you, with hopes that you will discover who you are as well.

In my love relationship with Christ, it felt as though there was something missing, I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it felt as though something was being kept from me. Have you heard the saying "SOMETHING JUST AINT RIGHT." Well that's how I felt, something just wasn't right!

What is it that keeps me from fully experiencing the Love of God? Why did I push people away? Why was I so defensive and subconsciously proving myself? What was keeping me from a having a healthy father and daughter relationship with the king of the universe? My behaviors and experiences were rooted in REJECTION and have kept me from experiencing the true love of God. Rejection says I don't want you, you're not good enough.

The Tricks the Enemy Plays

• The enemy will have you thinking you're ok, when you're really not.
• He will try his hardest to keep you in old mindsets and patterns of thinking.
• He will have you thinking everyone is against you.
• You will become isolated in your thoughts.
• Live life with a closed heart, not fully able to give or receive love.

The Discovery

I lived most of my life thinking I was a "throw away". I looked great on the outside, not realizing how messed up I was on the inside. The veil has now been removed; and I can see some of me. I say some of me because I'm still learning to receive myself, we must learn to love ourselves; but most importantly we must t learn to love God. The Life we live is based on His love. Out of our relationship with him, love flows from His heart to ours depending upon how open we are. In turn we share His love with others; however, there are some blockages that prevent us from doing so.

Finding the Blockages ... A lifting of the veil

Through the lifting of the veil, the Lord had me go back to my childhood, I went reluctantly and tearfully. It felt as if I was constantly looking within to try and find the root cause, this particular day I just did not want to; but, He was gracious; and took me very quickly to 2 experiences I had as a child.

As I began to look at my past He gave me the word "Disillusion"

• To cause to lose naïve faith and trust.
• To make someone realize that something which they thought was good is really NOT good.

My child hood was filled with disillusionment; and what I thought was good and true, my parents caused me to question whether it really was true or good.

With disillusion comes rejection - A certain degree of trust is lost and you close your heart.

Experience 1

My mom and I were in the kitchen, she was preparing a meal. I said to her, "Mom I don't want to eat, I'm not very hungry." Out of nowhere she slapped me in the mouth. I didn't understand the reasoning behind her behavior, I was 11 years old, but it was in that moment that I felt rejected and I closed my heart. It was in that life changing experience I no longer trusted my mom. I was wounded, so I shut down. Little did I know that this would be the experience I would live out for the next 37 years. Never trusting anyone, always thinking someone was out to get me; and constantly on shut down. If you were my friend and you did or said something I didn't agree with I would either cut you off or go into shut down mode.

Remember, the definition for disillusion!

• To cause to lose naïve faith and trust.
• To make someone realize that something which they thought was good is really NOT good.

I thought it was a good thing to tell my mom I wasn't hungry. By her actions it was not a good idea for whatever reason; it just wasn't a good idea. My mother's actions spoke volumes.

Experience 2

The phone was ringing and I ran to answer it, my dad then yells at me and says you are not allowed to pick up the phone and comes out of his seat towards me as if he were going to hurt me. I could feel the anger as he grabbed the phone. In my mind as a child I'm thinking its ok to pick up the phone and it's a good thing, my father's actions proved otherwise. Answering the phone was not a good thing. In these moments I felt unwanted, I did not have a voice, nor did I feel loved. I just did not trust. So I walked through life with the mindset that I was not wanted. If you offered your love...I did not believe you. If you said kind words...I didn't believe you. If I wasn't included in on what you were doing...I immediately felt rejected and became defensive often isolating myself or playing the silent treatment game. Little did I know when I rejected God's people, I was also rejecting God. My relationship with him was affected, I wasn't praying as much I wasn't talking to him as much and stopped journaling. Rejection alters your judgment and distorts your thinking.

The spirit of disillusion has followed me, it has deceived me into thinking I was ok.

So now is the time to open up my heart fully and allow God to love on me; and me, him. God requires that we love Him and it is necessary. One of the ways we can love on God is by loving and honoring others. Ask the Lord, "Who is it you want me to love on today?"

His Love runs deep. His love ran deep into the crevices of my dysfunction, it brought healing... It brought restoration... and it brought maturity.